Problem is, this innocent little film contains an inordinate amount of F-bombs, as well as an entire monologue centered around tits.

Being the classy, considerate person that I am, I decided I would need to bleep some fucking words out.

I immediately began to dread the prospect of bringing my audio into ProTools, finding the right sound effect to use, then tediously placing it over the waveform.

But then I found this awesome tutorial by Andy Coon on FCProducer.com, and all my worries were bleeped away.  In a nutshell: you just overwrite the desired section’s audio with bars and tone!  Simple.

Congratulations, Perry!

Happy filming.

Everyone will find something to love in this treasure trove: voyeurs will enjoy peering into the luscious, hyper-intimate moments of others; travelers will relish in the whimsical journey across cities and landscapes; thinkers will find inspiration in the historical and philosophical aspects of the experiment–all the photos on the site were taken in a single day by individuals, then stacked according to geographic location.

The result is a monumental collection at once important and utterly fleeting.  I am, admittedly, a dreamer, but to me it is a unique artistic demonstration of power of the world wide web and its ability power to harness a wealth of information that is emotional, dynamic, populist, and individualistic.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, this exhibit speaks volumes about global experience as we know it.

In an evermore complicated internet landscape of blogs, vlogs, networks, and languages, these sites will actually simplify your life.  Amen.

Check them out for yourself:

5. FreshDV

A nice cross-section of expert opinions, tutorials, tech news, etc.

4. IndieGoGo

A crowdfunding website for independent film and art projects.  Allows you to create a profile, upload content, and build a community around your film while letting the cash flow directly to your bank account.

3. Reboot.FCC.gov

We were all wondering the same thing–when will Obama finally grace the FCC with his magic political touch?  The time is now.  To enhance your government-regulated communications experience, check out the new FCC beta site: keep up with policy and news on the official blog, or get involved in one of the FCC’s important new initiatives: Broadband.gov, OpenInternet.gov, the Future of Media Project, and more.

2. Massify.com

Massify is the ideal social network for filmmakers wanting to move their online creative community offline.  Job listings meet content management meet production opps.  Start a project, upload a script, reach out to collaborators, and build your film’s community all on one site.

1. F.A.T.

According to its site/blog/webspace: The Free Art and Technology (F.A.T.) Lab is an organization dedicated to enriching the public domain through the research and development of creative technologies and media.

They run an open-source microblogging service called FuckTwitter, and are basically all about making art and technology as free and fun as possible.

They give you deadlines, they give you more work to add on your reel, and sometimes, they even pay off.

So grab your camera and get moving!

5. Cannes 2010: Coke Zero Video Contest

Coca Cola wants to reach out to all of us sugar-high youngsters (18-24) to inspire us to think “Impossible is Possible” (as in Coke Zero being tasty). Up to $10k in prizes, several runners-up, plus a Grand Prize of travel, accommodations, and VIP access to Cannes 2010.  Deadline is June 1.  Info here.

4. Roommate of the Year

Free rent for a year plus $10,000 cash?  Now that’s what I’m talking about. Listen up New York and San Francisco–I know you’re not bankrolling a solo spot.  Make a video about how you’re the best roommate ever.  If you aren’t already, you sure as hell will be after winning this contest.  Details here.

3. Tony Stark Innovation Video Challenge

An ideal contest for media makers who are either a) obsessed with Iron Man, b) obsessed with progressive change, or c) all of the above.  Submit your idea for “Better Living through Technology,” and you could win $15,000 in seed money in addition to VIP treatment for two in LA.

2. Cannes 2010: Coca-Cola [Cont'd]

Actually, while you’re at it (see #5), up your stakes to win big by entering the C0ca-Cola Light Video Contest and the Coke Video Contest (classic). $10,000 all around.

1. Couch Abandonment Contest

Are you moving?  Even though there’s no money involved, I included this one because I honestly can’t tell if it’s a joke or not.  AmericanListed.com is a classifieds website–a less elegant, USA-themed Craigslist, if you will.  The contest is framed like a PSA to stop “Couch Abandonment”–the urban blight of couches tossed out onto the sidewalk.  The idea is to create  a testimonial explaining why your old couch deserves a better afterlife than most.  Are they serious? Or is this high-brow camp-marketing?

Happy Shooting.

The series, a collaboration with producer Albie Hecht, former president of SpikeTV and Nickolodeon, plans to source its storylines from viewers through an American Idol-esque voting process.  In addition, Wright is developing a “StoryMaker Engine” software/app/platform that would allow viewers to quickly create and upload storyboards for mass consideration.

It makes sense that the team is working with Current–could this be the “Crowdsourced TV” Al Gore vaguely alluded to at a recent NY conference?

Sorry, Writer’s Guild of America.

Check out the LinkTV ViewChange Film Contest, which aims to support videos that raise awareness and inspire action in the effort to eliminate global poverty.

Even Danny Glover is on board (literally, as a member of LinkTV’s board of directors).

House’s Greg Yaitanes
confirms via his Twitter:
A 5d finale.

That’s right!  In case you didn’t “read between the lines,” director Greg Yaitanes has disclosed that the season finale of House was shot on the Canon Mark II 5d.

As the latest development in the DSLR revolution we’ve been covering, Yaitanes echoes what has emerged as the most attractive feature of the DSLR: its incognito physical appearance.  The camcorder-in-disguise instantly dispels the fears, insecurities, and suspicions that come with a professional camera rig.

Hopefully this new embrace will finally give DSLR manufacturers everywhere the impetus they need to start catering directly to our needs.  That means improving sound by adding XLR inputs, image stabilization for going hand-held, increased compatibility with cinema lenses, and most of all streamlining workflow in post.  Question is: after all the upgrades it needs to be practical for professional usage, will it remain irresistibly cheap for us indie folk?

Only time will tell.

The photographer has collaborated with his “super tech friend” Craig Swanson to launch creativeLIVE.com, which is hosting the first Live creative instruction on the ‘net.  Offering everything from Watercolor 101 to Adobe CS5, they claim that what keeps the classes free is that after they air you have to pay to download or re-visit them.  While I recall my BFA from NYU costing slightly more than the iTunes .mp3 of RBL Posse’s A Lesson to be Learned, I’m a sucker for making arts education more accessible.

So the next time you write off professional instruction due to budgetary concerns, remember–no more excuses.

Melina Matsoukas.

Not only has she directed some of the most original music videos of all time (see = Rihanna “Hard”), but she also represents in the mainstream market for strong female directors everywhere.  Her revolutionary depictions of powerful women in video defy the tired woman-as-sex-object role that is all too familiar on the music video scene.

“As much as I am a video producer, I am also a woman. I would not take part in a video that I find degrading to women. I have never and I will never,” she remarked to Tim Kamuzu Banda of Saturday Nation in a 2008 interview.

Oh yeah, and we went to the same film school, both come from multi-cultural families, and love the color pink.

Melina Matsoukas, my heart racks to infinity for you.